Pro Tips: How To Be a GREAT Client!

Client Etiquette Tips From the Pro’s!

I posted this thread on Reddit asking my colleagues in the adult services industry “what are the etiquette tips you wish every client knew?”

Based on their answers — and a few more of my own — this article will help you learn what we consider good client etiquette before, during, and after the session.

If you’ve ever wondered how to be the client of our dreams, this guide shows you how, step-by-step.

A lot of clients will benefit from this guidance, especially newbies who are just getting started.

Here are some helpful do’s and don’ts of hiring a FBSM massage practitioner, escort, stripper, dominatrix, or adult service provider:

BEFORE (initial contact/communication):

First impressions go a long way. If your first contact is “hey” or “available” our first impression is that you’re too lazy to introduce yourself properly. This indicates to the provider that you won’t be a good client in person. (Most of us ignore texts like these.)

Do make your first text/email brief and friendly, introduce yourself by name, tell us the date/timeframe you’d like to see us, and ask us how to schedule an appointment.

Do let your provider know which site you found her on, as this helps us know where to concentrate our advertising budget.

Do book your appointment as far in advance as possible. Some providers do not take same day appointments at all. Those that do usually require at least a few hours notice and may charge a premium fee for last-minute requests.

If you’re traveling to her city, don’t assume that she will be available when you get there. Chances are she’s already booked well in advance. A little planning ahead on your part — and guaranteeing your reservation with a deposit — ensures her availability on the specific date/time you want.

Before contacting a provider, do make sure to read her ad and/or website, in its entirety. Contacting a provider and asking questions that are already answered on their ad or website is a fast track to her recycle bin.

Do NOT ask about specific activities you want, or talk explicitly. In states where adult services are criminalized, this is likely to spook the provider. She will end the conversation and block you from contacting her again.

Don’t ask “are you a cop?” This is the silliest newbie question we get. (And if the person you’re texting was a cop trying to entrap you, they’d just lie and say they’re not.)

Do understand that it is common practice for premium escorts/massage providers to screen their clients - it's for their safety, which translates to your safety. Screening means the provider has good boundaries (i.e. they won't stalk you afterward, overshare, put you through drama, or blackmail you), and they don't just see anyone blindly. It means they have high self-esteem/safety standards and this will translate to a better overall experience for you. Once she feels safe with you, she can relax and enjoy herself.

Don’t haggle or argue about her rules and rates. If you don’t feel comfortable with her screening, deposit requirements, or can't afford the donation, find someone in your price range. There are providers pretty much available in any price range.

Don’t send dick pics or any explicit pics/videos. This is a big turn off and will get you instantly blocked. Some providers may want a G-rated selfie as part of screening, but only send what they ask for!

Don’t ask the provider to send "verification" pictures or FaceTime unless she specifically offers it. This is a classic tactic of fantasy bookers. Many providers will do consultations by phone or video chat for a fee; however, this is not phone sex. When speaking to her on the phone or FaceTime, keep your clothes on, keep the conversation clean, and treat it like a business discussion— because it IS business.

Reputable directory sites such as Tryst (where I advertise) require us to upload our government ID, and do facial recognition tests to ensure our face matches the face on our ID. When you see “verified provider” on an ad, it means we have verified our age and identity. We have already undergone extensive screening to prove that we are of legal age and are in fact the actual woman in our photos.

If a provider has their face blurred in photos, please don’t ask for a face picture. There are plenty of providers who are "face out" so if you need to see someone's face to book, choose someone who already shows it.

Once your screening is complete and the appointment is set, read their ad or website again to see if they have any etiquette laid out about cleanliness, handling the donation, etc. Many providers have an ETIQUETTE page on their website (here’s mine if you’d like to take a look at my expectations for new clients).

HOW TO ENSURE A GREAT DATE:

Show up right on time. Not early, not late. If you do arrive early, park and wait a few blocks away from her incall. Sitting in her driveway, parking lot or hotel lobby for 15-20 minutes draws unwanted attention from neighbors and security. Text to let her know you’re early. She will give you the all clear to come to her door when she is ready to see you.

Arrive freshly showered. If you don’t have time to shower immediately beforehand, ask the provider if you can use their shower. Please let her know you’ll need a shower prior to arrival, so she can set out fresh towels, soap, and clean the bathroom for you.

Don’t make her ask for the donation. Discreetly put the money in a place where she can see it as soon as you arrive, or simply hand it to her. Tucking it inside an envelope or greeting card is a nice gesture, and is often preferred by providers.

Bringing a gift or tip is not required; however it is always appreciated and a great way to gain status as a regular she always looks forward to seeing. Good clients are given scheduling priority in the future. Tipping in advance by placing some extra cash in with the donation is also a way to ensure excellent service!

When you disrobe, leave your keys, eyeglasses, clothes, jewelry, and phone in the bathroom or another room. Providers are nervous about clients recording sessions without our knowledge or permission, so it is best if you bring nothing else but yourself into the bedroom.

Don’t forget to silence your phone before the session begins! You don’t want any noisy distractions or reminders of the outside world during your time together. If you have a pressing reason why you need to keep your phone ringer on (for example, if you’re on call for work), be sure to let your provider know. She will probably want to place your phone on a nearby table to ensure you’re not secretly recording the session. If needed, she can hand you your phone if it rings with an important call, then excuse herself from the room temporarily for your privacy.

Let the provider lead the session. She’s a pro, knows just how to pace the session. Don’t touch her body or kiss her without permission. If there’s a specific activity you want, just ask — never force anything on her.

Please do not ask the provider personal questions about her day job, family life, relationship status, children, etc. If they volunteer personal information, it’s a sign that they trust you to keep it strictly confidential. Never betray her confidence once she has placed trust in you. Discretion is a two-way street; we guard our clients privacy carefully and expect the same in return.

Feel free to share any personal details about yourself with us in conversation if you feel at ease doing so. We are empathetic listeners and getting to know you is how we learn how to better meet those needs. We are called “companions” for a reason— a big part of our job is providing support and comfort to people who feel lonely or aren’t getting their needs met in their marriage/relationship.

A note on outcalls: if you’re having the provider over to your home or hotel, always make sure the environment is clean, the bed linens are fresh, and any pets are secured outside the bedroom prior to her arrival.

If you want to have a drink to calm your nerves or relax during the session, please drink responsibly. Clients who are drunk or high on drugs can cause all kinds of problems we wish to avoid.

Sometimes clients will kindly offer to bring us drinks to share. Be sure to ask before your arrival if that’s okay, and what her preference is. Many providers will not accept any drink that is already opened, because it may have been drugged or otherwise tampered with. Same goes for 420-friendly providers like myself. Do bring bud or edibles in sealed containers. We don’t know what a pre-rolled joint could be laced with, so for our safety we will not want to accept a pre-roll unless it is factory-sealed from the dispensary.

If a provider hosts at home, do respect her space and personal belongings. Do not open closed doors, cabinets, drawers, closets, etc. Don't wander off into other rooms of the house or walk around peering at everything. (This should be common sense any time you're a guest in someone's home, right?)

AFTER (post-appointment etiquette):

Do drop her a quick text or email to thank her for a lovely time if you enjoyed yourself. We do like knowing that you had a good time with us and that you made it home safe.

Don’t expect her to “keep in touch” between appointments. Providers are busy professionals and don’t have a lot of free time for chit-chat. Wait until you’re ready to book an appointment before reaching out again.

If you’d like to write a review, always ask if she allows reviews on hobbyist forums before posting a review. Many providers have a “no review” policy for legal, privacy, and discretion reasons; others find the review culture demeaning and prefer to keep a shared private encounter confidential. 🤫

Now that you know how to be our Knight in Shining Armor, gentlemen, start your engines!